Mida ma tegelikult siin teen? What am I really doing here?

If you prefer English, scroll down.

Hei hei

Jõulud läksid mööda kiirelt, ilma mingisuguse draamata. Ma nutsin küll palju jõuluõhtul, kuna koduigatsus tuli peale, aga muidu oli täitsa vinks-vonks. Imelik oli küll jõuluhommikut veeta basseini ääres, 40 kraadi käes kokteili juues, aga muidu olid jõulud nagu jõulud ikka. Koos perega ja süües nii kaua kuni enam lihtsalt süüa ei jaksa.

Pidime 26ndal detsembril Eesti päeva tegema. Vist oli esimene kord kui Adelaide jõudsin, kui tegime Austraalia päeva, vaatasime aussi filme ja sõime igasugust austraalia toitu. Ja noh mul pere ja tädi olid nii armsad ja saatsid mulle igasuguseid snäkke ja filme kodust. Aga kuna Sydneys olles sain teada, et mul ikka võimalus farmi tööle minna, siis selle Eesti päevaga küll ühele poole ei saanud. Kella nelja paiku avastasin end olevat lennuki peal, ilma teadmiseta mis nüüd juhtuma hakkab.

Ma kirjutan farmipäevadest mitme postiga, sest kõik ühte ära ei mahu ja mul endal nii ka lihtsamt kirjutada. Alustan ikka algusega ja katsun olla nii aus oma tunnetega, kui vähegi olla saan siin internetimaal.

Tere tulemast Stanthorpe’i.

Ei tee nalja, kui ütlen et ma olin kabuhirmul. Mul tuleb paanika iga väiksemagi asja peale. Noh, nüüd ma siis olin seal, aimugi polnud mis saab. Kuidas ma saan mitte karta? Aga reisides õpid (vähemalt mina õppisin) oma tunded alla suruda. Sul pole lihtsalt muud valikut. Kui midagi väga tahad, siis pead tegema asju mis sulle üleüldse ei meeldi.

Hostelis näidati mulle ringi ja kui oma asjadega ühele poole sain ja inimesed töölt tagasi hakkasid saabuma, siis sain oma esimese šoki. Toakaaslane hakkas minuga rääkima ja küsis kus farmis ma olen (tegemist on working hosteliga, ehk seal on mitmeid farme, kus inimesed töötavad ja millega hostel seotud on). Mina siis ütlesin ja tema esimene reaktsioon oli “shit, good luck with that ” (ingl k. – edu sellega). See ei ole asi mida sa tahad esimesel päeval kuulda, ausõna. Eriti siis, kui sa oled oma viimastel kuudel ja teed farmipäevi viimasel minutil. Nii et ilmselgelt ma hakkasin üle mõtlema ja hullupööra närveerima. Küsimused nagu “kas ma tegin vea, et siia tulin” ja “mida ma tegelikult siin teen” käisid mu peast korduvalt läbi.

Beccal (mu toakaaslasel) oli õigus. Mul oli vaja edu, sest järgnevad kolm kuud olid väga emotsionaalsed. Kolm parimat ja halvimat kuud mul Austraalias.

Maria

adelaide to stanthorpe 993

Hey

Christmas went by quick, with no dramas (I did cry like half of Christmas Eve because I was homesick though). It was so different to actual Christmas back home. The 24th was spent with a bunch of Em’s relatives over, the 25th of December was spent by the pool with cocktails in 40 degree weather.  But everyone ate a lot and it was still spent with family. Same, same but different ya know.

The 26th was cut short because I had to leave to go to Stanthorpe. We had originally planned an Estonia day with food and movies sent from home but since I found out in Sydney that I got a job in Queensland on an apple farm, the day was cut short. So suddenly, for the first time in Australia I was all alone with no idea what was going to happen.

I’m going to write about the days on the farm in various posts. I’m starting with getting there and the beginning days and most likely finishing with how I felt when I left and what happened with my visa and I’m gonna try to be as honest with my feelings as I can.

So here we go. Welcome to the Stanthorpe chapter.

Not gonna lie, I was terrified getting to the hostel. I get so anxious over the smallest things and it seemed like the biggest fucking step out of my comfort zone. And I didn’t want to do it. I think once I started travelling though, I realised if you want something, you have to get over the whole “what’s gonna happen and what if everything goes wrong” attitude and just go for it. Take a couple of deep breaths and just go for it, whether it ends good or bad.

You know that quote that sorta goes along the lines of “when it feels scary to jump, that is exactly when you jump, otherwise you end up staying in the same place your whole life”. Yeah, that applies to the whole situation.

Got settled in and all and I think the first person I talked to was Becca from my room. She asked me what farm I was on and when I told her she said “shit, good luck with that”. That is not what you want to hear on your first day. Especially since I was working with such limited time, I was either gonna get my 3 months done or I was out of the country. So obviously I freaked out. All I could think was “did I make a mistake coming here. I could have just stayed in Adelaide and enjoyed my last 3 months. I mean, what am I really doing here”.

Becca was right though, I did need luck because my next 3 months there was a fucking rollercoaster of emotions. Best and worst three months of my time in Australia.

Maria

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